Obsessions, Compulsions & Disorders

As the parent of a compulsive hair puller there are a variety of things you can do and ways you can react that can help with your child’s compulsive behavior.

• Stay Calm – As difficult as it may be, work very hard at not reacting emotionally to your child’s hair pulling.
• Do Not Shame Your Child – Don’t judge or ridicule. For some kids pulling is simply a passing phase.

For both of these strategies, a strong emotional reaction or insensitive comment can sometimes reinforce or strengthen a problem behavior such as hair pulling. Strive to find positive forms of encouragement and build your child’s ego rather than beat them down by providing negative responses to behaviors you don’t want to encourage.

• View the Big Picture – If the hair pulling behavior continues, remember that hairpulling is a coping mechanism; something your child as a way to deal with something emotional or difficult in their life. Realize that it may not make sense to you or others, and that your child likely has no conscious memory about how or even why it began.
• Don’t Get Stuck Yourself – As the parent of a hair puller, it is natural for you to react to your child’s pulling or bald patches; but don’t get fixated upon only these symptoms for they likely mask a far deeper issue. Compulsive behaviors are indications of a larger, “system-wide” problem. Just as the bald patches are signs of the pulling, the actual act of the hair pulling behavior is, in and of itself, a symptom of its own underlying issue. These issues could be the result of something your child believes, feels emotionally and / or spiritually. With the right assistance, your child can be healed of the pulling and associated issues.
• Do not Pressure Your Child to Control Pulling – There is a very good chance that if your child could have controlled the hairpulling, they would have done so already. By yelling, belittling or attempting to control her behavior will likely make them feel worse about themselves and more damaging to the situation.

Author: Abby Leora Rohrer is a 27-year former compulsive hair puller who has been pull free now for thirteen years. For three additional strategies, and more, on how you as a parent can help your child, who you believe could be a compulsive hair puller, visit Abby’s Hair Pulling Child web site.